Day 2: Choosing Yes's Over No's
By Edward Smith
07 July 2020
Struggling with money sucks. It leads to weird solutions when you're trying to solve problems. Take for instance this scenario. In 2017 I lost my job, and with it our house lost it's second income. I decided that not having a second income was the main cause of our money struggles. The problem is I had to watch my kids so I wasn't able to do what I wanted or needed to do. Or did I?
Back when I had my job, and worked full time, my kids lived in a daycare facility full time. That changed when I lost my job. Our first order of business was moving. We chose to move because we found a place where we could run our house on one income instead of two. That meant the kids could stay at home with me instead of living in a daycare and I could be a full time dad. I was free to not work.
Just Say No to the No's
When I was doing stay at home parenting for a couple of years, I began to think I was being denied opportunities. I wasn't allowed to get a full time job, which meant I was losing potential income.
Since I couldn't make more money, I couldn't invest more money. Without more money, I couldn't pay off the house faster. I was being restricted. No's tell you what you can't do. Can'ts are unfair. When we run into them, we resist them. That's the version of No that makes you feel entitled.
No's also can be more insidious. No's can keep you from accomplishing the important things in life, because they distract you and waste your time. For instance if you find yourself pouring time and energy into something that you're not able to do well, you may feel like you need to try harder and put more energy into making it work.
The problem is you might just be wasting your energy on a thing that you shouldn't be pursuing in the first place. You need to know yourself. Your time is precious. You need to remain on target and you need to remain efficient. More importantly you need to remain true to yourself. Focus on what matters. Ignore the noise.
Yes You Can!
The thing is, can'ts usually hang out with can's. What I failed to realize at the time, is the yes's matter. Sometimes they matter more then the no's. In my situation I was doing what I needed to be doing. I was fulfilling my duty, and it was okay to be who I was. I wasn't a prisoner of my circumstances.
I had the freedom to exercise and improve my health. I could get a good night sleep and wake up refreshed. I could eat a balanced breakfast. I could spend time with my kids, doing the stuff they enjoy. I could learn to know them. I could be the father figure they needed. That's not a punishment. That's a gift.
I also didn't have to look for new money from lost opportunities. I just needed to manage my present money more carefully. There were opportunities all around me. I could stick to my plan. I could curb my expenses. Nothing was set in stone. Nothing was permanent. I could change things. That's power!
In this challenge I've got the power to change things. You can do it as well.
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