🤠 How to Legally Put Your Kids to Work for Pay

 Day 58:  Unemployment Is Bad For Kids

by Edward Smith

01 Sept 2020

Work Makes My Kids Better

My kids have it better then I ever did.    Ever since my kids have been able to walk, my kids have worked for money.   The things they do are not hard things.  My kids are very young, so I'm not trying to break them or mistreat them.   

What I am trying to do though is teach them ownership, pride and responsibility.   My kids learn as they earn.   Here is why I put them to work for pay, and how I do it.

Growing Up As a Spoiled Brat

When I was growing up, I received an allowance, for just being me.   I didn't have chores.  I didn't get told no.   My mom was a stay at home mom, and she took care of everything for me.  It was like having a maid.  

If I was hungry, my mom would cook me up a cheeseburger.     If I wanted to go out to eat, she drove me to a fast food restaurant.   

Laundry would be done and put away for me without me lifting a finger.   I could sit in my room, watch television, and watch my mom scurry around putting things away as I sat around doing nothing.  

To make it worse, I got paid an allowance for sitting around.   I'm not proud of it.   It's just how it was.

Talk about a bad model.   It doesn't teach your kids.   It sets them up for hardship later on.

Unemployed Kids Have it Harder

When I got older, I didn't really know how to do anything for myself.   Even basic things, like making a bed, cooking, or cleaning were not really easy for me, because I wasn't used to doing any of that stuff.    

Instead of a blessing, my years of laziness turned out to be really harmful.   I had no idea what to do, or where to start.  I hadn't been trained in a safe environment.   I hadn't struggled.  I hadn't grown up.   

Don't do that to your kids.   Teach your kids by employing them in a meaningful way.           

Putting Your Kids to Work Teaches Independence

Putting your kids to work teaches them that the things being done around the house need to happen and why.   People don't just tell you to do things because they're mean, the thing has to be done for a reason.    If you don't do laundry, you don't have clean clothes to wear.  

That being said, you do have to manage this thing as a parent.   It's not just up to your employee to ensure the business runs correctly.   Sometimes managers have to step in and help out.   When something is not getting done like it is supposed to, you need to be a parent and back your kids up.  

At the end of the day, if the thing doesn't get done, it will effect the house, and you'll get stuck doing it anyways, so be a parent.   

Give your kids some freedom, but step in when appropriate.  You can teach them and make them better.  Once they prove themselves, release them and let them do it on their own.  Review their work, and give them feedback.  Just like a real job.

Putting Your Kids To Work Teaches Ownership

Another reason to employ your kids, is if you pay your kids with a commission for each job they do, the chores become meaningful and have value.   The kid's ability to buy things is intertwined with the work that they do.   No work.  No pay.  

This means that if they want to buy a bike, daddy and mommy don't step in and buy them a bike.  

If you work, you end up with a sweet bike that you bought using your own hard money.   That bike is yours by right.   You earned it.

Since money is now scarce, the kids have to learn to choose between different things and to own their decisions.   This teaches them to be careful with their money, and to make better choices.  Just like an adult.

  

Job Description and Pay Day

In my house, my kids work five major jobs per day.   The jobs are simple to accomplish, and they can do all of them.   I align the jobs with my parental expectations.

My kids water their garden, they feed our cat, they vacuum our kitchen and dining area, they read books for twenty minutes, and they fold and put away their laundry.   

Every time they do one of these five things, they get a check mark on their little white board, and at the end of the week they get paid $8.75 if they did everything.   If they refuse, they don't get paid for that thing on that day.    

I should mention I don't keep actual cash around the house.  We use play bills.  The kids exchange the play bills at the time of the purchase and then we go to the store and buy the thing using real money that the parents supply.   

Here is the link for the website I used to do that.

https://www.dadsworksheets.com/worksheets/money-printable-play-money.html

 

The kids then take the $8.75 that they get and split the amount between spending saving and giving.    Five bucks goes into savings, two bucks goes into spending, and one dollar goes into giving.   As for the other three quarters, those get split evenly between the three categories again:   spending, saving and giving.  

The point here is I want my kids to earn what they get, and I want them to feel like they're making progress, so choose an amount you can afford, but that allows them to get some where in a meaningful time frame.   

You don't want to pay them so low, that they never get anywhere.  They'll become bored, and you'll have lost their attention.   That being said, don't break your bank.   Pay them a fair wage for fair work.  If they do more, pay them more, but only pay what you can afford to pay.  

Conclusion

If you have kids, give your kids jobs to do around the house and pay them a commission.  

I speak from experience.   I never had chores when I was growing up.   It didn't make me better.  It made me feel pretty useless and inept.

Kids really really want to do things with you, and they want to help out around the house.   When you assign jobs to them, they get really excited, and they learn a lot from it.     

My kids know how to fold laundry and put it away.   They've also learned responsibility, and they know that they have to earn what they get.   Instead of fighting me on any of this, they've embraced the entire thing.  It makes sense to them.   It's also fun for them.

It makes me proud to see them take ownership.    Employ and pay your kids.   You'll be thankful you did, and they'll thank you later.

   

         

🤠 How Shaving Your Own Hair As a Guy Saves You Thousands

Day 57:  Be a Cut Above the Rest

by Edward Smith

31 Aug 2020

Become Your Own Barber

In this article I'm going to describe how you can save some money by cutting your own hair at home.  Saving money is something everyone can do.   It can be really easy when you put your mind to it, and it doesn't always have to be restricting.   

Sometimes it just requires approaching a common problem from a different direction.   There are tons of ways to do it, but this is one of my favorites.   

My Love Affair

Back in 2006, I purchased an Oster Classic 76 Universal motor clipper 76076010.   This is one of those large metal beasts that you see at old school barber shops.  It's the same kind of buzz razor that the barbers used at the military barber shop when I was going through basic training.   

What I love about my razor, is it's quick, it's clean, I can get a great haircut no matter where I am so long as the place has working electricity and a plug somewhere.  I can travel with it if I want. It works really well, and it's simple to use.  

The idea here is you're not cutting and clipping and stylizing (even though you could).   You're just shaving the sucker off in clean lawn mower straight swathe lines of glory.   When you want it longer, you let it grow back, and repeat the process.   

This method is great for summer months when you're trying to keep your head cool.   No mess no bother, just smooth sailing.

The razor is simple and eloquent in design.  The body is heavy and appears to be made of solid steel.   It reminds me of an old school car from the 1950's, when America made great things.   

When you buy the razor it goes for about $150.00 (it's gone up in price since I got mine), it lasts you for years, it comes with two detachable heads for different grades of cutting, and it comes with a blade guard to prevent cutting yourself.   

This razor does not use batteries.  It just plugs straight into the wall.  

Owning an Oster Razor Is an Investment

I've had my Oster Classic 76 Universal motor clipper 76076010 for ten years and the thing has never failed me once.  The thing runs like a well oiled engine.   

Even better, when I bought it, it only cost me $115.00.  As I mentioned above, the thing has risen to around $150.00 but who cares?   It's still totally worth the price.  

It's made to last forever.   I've saved a lot of money since I bought mine.  If you look at it from a ten year perspective, it's like I spent fifteen bucks a year.  It's nothing.

According to a 2019 article (click link) posted in Men's Health, the average haircut for a man is around $28.00.   

When you consider that the average man gets a haircut about once a month to two months that means this razor saves me an average of $168 to $336 a year (not counting the razor's original price).   Over ten years that amounts to around $1,680 to $3,360 in savings.   Since the razor still works, my savings continue.   

Buzzing Your Head Eliminates Insecurity

Even when the barber shops close down, and people can't leave their house, I continue forward cutting my hair like normal.   

I also don't have to worry about male pattern baldness.    When I perform a buzz cut on myself, my hair is already gone.   It might look silly to other people, but it feels great to me, and the hair always grows back.   

Other people get insecure about this kind of thing because they fall in love with their hair.  Not me.  They try to hide their lack of hair with wigs or hats.   I just cut the sucker off, and laugh myself all the way to bank.

Conclusion

Saving money is all about common sense.  You shouldn't buy cars you can't afford.   You shouldn't buy a car if you can get by on a bike.   Cars are expensive.   Why pay for something you don't really need?     

Haircuts are like transportation.   You need a haircut, because your hair will grow, but the way you solve that problem is totally up to you.  You can go expensive and waste your money, you can go cheap, or you can go somewhere in between.  It just needs to make sense for you.   It shouldn't matter what others think.  

Getting a haircut is expensive, and when the world turns upside down it's not always even possible to get one.   That doesn't have to be a problem though.  You have options.   

You can cut your own hair from your own home!     I've been shaving my own head  since 2001.   It's easy to do, and I've saved  a ton of money doing it.  I don't even dislike it.  I enjoy it.   Why pay for something you can do yourself?   Get a razor and shave off one of your expenses today!   Cut your head while you get ahead.






.

🤠 How To Keep Yourself From Getting Used By Your Car

 Day 56:   New Cars Don't Impress Your Future

by Edward Smith

30 Aug 2020

You're Going To Drive Yourself Insane

When I was growing up, I used to have car envy.   

Every year my aunt and uncle would show up to our house from out of town.   They always showed up to our house in a fancy rental car.    The cars smelled nice, they looked good, and they performed well.   

I was super impressed.   

One day I would be like them.   To me my aunt and uncle had made it.   They were what refined adults looked like.   That's what I would be one day.   A made man driving a well made car.

Then I grew up.   

You Are Not Defined By Your Car

As I got older, I learned some useful things about cars.   Cars are always expensive, even if the car itself doesn't cost a lot at the beginning.   If you don't have a garage, they sit out in the elements.  They get damaged by flying debris.  People hit them.   They break down.   You have to insure them.   You have to replace them.   They are not always required, and you never have to buy them new.

My First Car Was a New Car

My first car was a Geo Metro.  My parents bought it new, and it lasted for over a decade.   It worked great.   I used it to travel to and from college.   I picked up my future wife in it on our first date.   I moved across country with it to live with her.  The car served me well.   

Unfortunately, after ten years of reliable service, the thing became unreliable and costly to fix.  Being new had not prevented it.   It eventually became old.   

All new cars become used given time.   You can't prevent it.   It makes you wonder.  Are new cars worth it?  What are you paying for?

New Cars Can Be a Bad Financial Decision

At this point I had been reading books by Dave Ramsey.  In his book the Total Money Makeover, Ramsey talks about only buying used cars.   Ramsey's reasoning behind this approach is new cars are a bad financial investment, because they lose the majority of their value as soon as you drive a new car off the lot for the first time.   That got my attention.   

Ramsey also argued that new cars don't have all of their bugs worked out yet.   If you buy a new car, you often find the dealer will send you recall letters afterwards.   These recalls can be very serious and the car can be dangerous to drive if you don't have things fixed.  They might not even look broken, but you don't want to take a chance.  It could cost you your life.  To think you paid for that. 

With a used car, the bugs have already been worked out.   People have often already run your car through the grinder and figured everything out.   It was physically driven around and proved itself in battle.   It has a history and a story that you can review.  You don't get that with a new vehicle.  

My Second Car Was a Used Car

I decided to make my second car a used car.  I wanted to see if I could save some money and get a good value.   I'm glad I did.   It was a great decision.

I decided to go through a car rental agency.   You could find cars in small mom and pop car lots at a cheaper price, but in my head, money wasn't everything.   I wanted the peace of mind that went along with seeing a review and knowing how the customers felt about the place.   

With the rental agency, I could tell that the car wasn't stolen, I didn't have to negotiate price, and I could tell if the car had any backstory.  With the smaller places it wasn't always that obvious.   

The first benefit of buying slightly used, was I was able to get a car that was only two years old, but it cost almost half the price of what a new car cost.   That meant I could pay cash for the entire car, and I never had a car payment.   

That has saved me thousands upon thousands of dollars.   It also kept risk out of my life.   The car still ran great, it smelled new, and it only had a few thousand miles on it. Everything was in perfect condition and most people couldn't even tell that the car wasn't brand new.   

The second benefit of buying slightly used was insurance.  Since the car wasn't new, I didn't have to pay as much for insurance like people buying new cars have to do.   As a car ages, your insurance premium drops.  It doesn't cost the insurance company as much to replace it.  

If you can, I recommend keeping a good working car long term.   I tend to keep mine for around ten years.   Some schools of thought suggest you only keep a car for a couple of years, and then trade up to a bigger and brighter thing using the value of the current car to pay for part of the other car.   

I'm not a big car buff, so it doesn't really matter if I have the biggest and best.   In fact big and fancy can actually play against my peace of mind and feelings of safety.   For me I want reliable and good, and older cars don't tend to attract thieves the way new cars do.   That means I don't attract unwanted attention, and that makes me happier.

If you do decide to trade up to bigger and better, go ahead, just realize your insurance premium grows as your car grows.  Don't become car poor, trying to live too big.  It's not a necessity.   Your life will be good without it.

Conclusion

When I moved to my new location, I was blessed by having a used car.   In my current state, the government taxes you for owning a car.   The reasoning behind it, is your car requires an infrastructure, and the infrastructure is expensive to keep running.   Taxes are used to cover it.

The interesting thing about this tax though, is people pay more taxes if their car is new.  If your car is used, the city gives you a break.   

Ever since I switched from a new car to a reliable used car, I've been saving money.  I've saved on the cover price.  I've saved on insurance.  I've saved on taxes, and I've saved on time.    My used car drives as well if not better then my new car.    I cannot tell the difference when I'm behind the wheel.  

The car sounds and runs the same.  

If you want to start out life on a good note, start out your car life going with a used automobile.   The price for new is not worth it.   Get yourself a dollar air freshener and get the new car for cheap.  Don't pay for it.    

🤠 How A 66 Day Challenge Reveals Your Innermost Dark Secrets

 Day 55:   What's the Point?

by Edward Smith

29 Aug 2020

Does a 66 Day Challenge Actually Work?

If you have been reading my other articles up to this point, you'll have read a great deal about personal finance.   Maybe that wasn't what you came here for though.  

Maybe you were more interested in the idea of a 66 day challenge.  For you it meant that a person was doing something for 66 days and that that journey would lead to some sort of transformation at the end.   

You may wonder whether a 66 day period of time can do something like that, or whether a 66 day challenge works.  The answer is yes.  Today I want to talk about that.  

A Day To Reflect

Back on 06 July 2020, I posted my first article entitled 🤠  How to Identify the Problem and Make a Change.   In this article I determined that I was overspending money in a callous way.   

Every since that day, I've used this platform to review things, and reflect.  I've been doing that for 54 days straight now.   When you commit to something for as long as 54 days, you learn some stuff along the way about yourself.  You figure out what you value.   

During this challenge, I've learned that I can do things when I put my mind to it.   It's not easy coming up with a new article every day or making yourself commit to a new habit.   I learned that I need to give myself attention when something has gone out of control.  

I've learned that I am not powerless.  I've learned that I can change myself when I choose to do it.   I learned I can say no to things when I decide to say no, and that I can come up with other things when the no results in me not getting to do what I normally do.   

A 66 Day Challenge Exposes You

When you commit to a 66 day challenge, you'll begin the process by identifying what is obvious.   That's the stuff you see on the surface.   

It's what you go into the thing thinking you need to change.   As you commit to the plan though, and spend time with it, you'll start digging into things a little bit more.  When you do that, you'll uncover unexpected things.   

Your problem will turn out to be more complex.  It will have layers to it.   Your original problem may just be a symptom.  If you fix the root cause it might solve many things all at once.

A 66 Day Challenge Helps You Understand

I've found this challenge to to be very insightful and therapeutic.   I originally dug into a spending problem.  I then found out that the spending problem related to a series of financial worries that I care about and wish to resolve.   

The 66 day challenge has also been educational.  It shows I can create something without someone else directing me to do it.  I can commit to something and stick with it.   I was able to clear out my head and use it to organize my thoughts.  It helped me to figure out what I value.  

Conclusion

When you do a 66 day challenge, it's important to reflect on the process and see if the thing is working.   Mine has been great so far.

During my challenge, I learned that I had some things buried pretty deep.  I also learned that I had misidentified my problem, and that I was trying to fix the wrong thing at the wrong time.   

By doing research I was able to figure out where I had gone wrong.   I was then able to re-prioritize things in a better way.  That really helped clear up my head.  It put action behind a worry.   It allowed me to focus my efforts in a better way.  

If you haven't tried a 66 day challenge, you might want to start one today.  It's a great way to figure things out when things feel out of control.   You might even discover something profound or important about yourself.  You're worth that investment.  Invest in yourself today.          

   

 

🤠 How To Attract Good Things With Other Good Things

Day 54: Your Choices Determine Your Choices

by Edward Smith

28 Aug 2020

Right Makes Right

Let's talk about cause and effect and personal responsibility.  

If you're like me, you've seen those stories about a person that missed out on a once in a lifetime opportunity because they failed to do the thing needed to win.   

They didn't grab the thing when it was presented to them.  They squandered it.  They missed their chance.   If only.  Regret regret regret.  Why does that happen?   Why do people do that?   In this article I'm going to talk about that.

No Right Time Without the Means

I've been there.  I've done it, but it wasn't my fault, except it actually was.   

Ten years ago I heard about this little car company that was just starting out.   My friend at the time told me he had shares of the company, and he mentioned how great it was, and wanted to know if I had gotten any of it yet.  It sounded really promising, but I didn't do anything about it, because I didn't have any extra money on hand.  

He didn't know that.  I had a good job.  It should have been no problem for me   Except there was more going on then what he could see.  I had created an illusion.  I looked like something that I wasn't, because I wasn't living the way I was supposed to.  I had spent the money on stupid, and now the stupid was double charging me.  It cost me a great opportunity.      

It's a shame.  I regret it.  The stock exploded ten years later.  I could have made a killing.  I could have paid off my house.  I didn't get to though.  I missed out.  Totally preventable.  Don't be me.  Learn from me.    

My Dirty Little Secret

At the time, my wife and I both had jobs.  We had enough to cover everything on our budget.   We were doing a lot of things correctly, but I was suffering inside and I didn't cope with it the right way.  

I was working at a start up company.   The place was chaotic, it changed constantly, it usually set unrealistic expectations, and it came with a tremendously high turn over rate.  People were always getting fired, and I always felt like I was going to be next.  This messed with me.

To cope, I began to buy a bunch of stupid things online.  It became a hobby.  I didn't ask permission.    Things would just show up to the house.  Surprise!   My wife had no idea.   

She didn't like it.   It made her crazy, and she even took away my debit card at one point, because things were getting too out of hand.   

She was completely in the right.  I was completely in the wrong.  

My wrong came with a hidden cost.

Don't Wait Until Opportunity Knocks

The house was so busy trying to keep itself stable, it couldn't stop to think or look around.  That was how I missed out on the stock purchase opportunity.   When my friend brought it up, I couldn't go home and talk about it, because money had become a taboo subject.   It wasn't safe.   It led to fights.  I was scared to bring it up, and I avoided it whenever I could.   

Instead of working as a team.  We went radio silent.  That's how the opportunity got missed.

If we had been working together, we probably would have come up with something.  We could have covered it.   We would have found a way.  We make a good team when we work together.    

Aftermath Includes Better Math

It hasn't been a complete disaster.  Those times were very educational.  I learned a great deal about myself, which is why I can talk about it now.   

I cleaned up my act.  I don't order things randomly, and when I do order things I know how we're covering it, or if we can.   My wife never gets surprised by deliveries anymore.   I know what doing that would do to her, and the cost isn't worth it.  It's not fair or nice, so I don't do it.   

We talk about things openly now.  I put the budget together so she doesn't have to, but she and I both discuss it and plan things together.  Having that united front has been amazing.   Opportunities have come up, we've discussed them, and taken advantage of them.   This has led to some major wins. Things have improved.    

Conclusion

Ten years ago, I missed out on a great financial opportunity.   It was my own fault.  I didn't communicate with my household, I was selfish, and I was short sighted.   I didn't work within my household's budget.  I went rogue, and that decision was very expensive.  The cost was bigger then I realized.   I should have waited.   Something better was coming.   

When you think in short sighted terms, and only think about today, you miss out on tomorrows.   If I had saved my money, I would have had choices.   

You don't get a choice if the money is already gone.   

Not having choices makes you a victim.  Don't be a victim.   Plan ahead.

It's not fate.  It's choice. Choose wisely.  

 

🤠 How A Will Keeps Your Good Memory Alive

 Day 53:  When There is a Will There is a Way

by Edward Smith

27 Aug 2020

Will Yourself to Get a Will

If you read my last article entitled 🤠  How Not Having a Will is Scary and Leads to Civil War, you'll have read about how my grandma didn't have a will, and how that small misstep, was so big, it caused my family to turn against one another.   

I've seen both sides.  I've seen what happens when you don't have a will.  I've also seen what happens when you do have a will.   

In this article I talk about my Grandpa.  He had a will, his story ended wonderfully.   It's the version that I want to repeat and emulate.  The people you leave behind have enough to worry about, when you pass.  The will helps instruct them.  It tells them what to do, and how to do it.   Having a will is a no brainer.  Get a will.

My Grandfather Had a Will

After my grandmother passed away, I didn't see a funeral again until I was in high school.   This time it was my grandfather in Germany.   

Talk about a different experience.

I don't live in Germany.   The funeral itself required a trip overseas, on a plane, to a place I wasn't familiar with at all.   Luckily for me and my mom, my grandfather had taken care of the whole thing.  My mother's sister received a packet with all of the instructions, and locations for every important document that the family needed to find.   

The packet included instructions for my grandfather's personal effects.  It included accounts, and instructions for who got what.  My aunt didn't have to make any decisions along the way.  She just had to honor her dad, by making sure my grandfather's wishes were followed.   

This Made The Whole Thing Way Easier

By laying the whole thing out.  My aunt was able to show up to her father's house.   She was able to call up an estate planner.  Important objects were handed to their respective owners, and the rest of the personal effects were able to be sold at an estate sale.  

Since there were no strings attached, the estate sale was able to happen quickly.  My grandfather's house was sold right after that, and after that the proceeds from the sale, got into the appropriate hands.   

No invited guests could lay claim to anything.   It was already gone, and the affairs were settled.   My grandfather even got to specify gifts that people received.  

One of them was to pay for my plane trip to show up to his funeral, and then to travel with my aunt and uncle visiting all of his favorite spots in Europe.  I got to eat food in one of his secret hidden restaurants, where he had eaten food himself, and I got to walk in the footsteps of my grandfather learning about him along the way from his daughter.  

Since my mom was also part of this plan, she was there with me, and we got to experience my grandfather together.   Talk about an awesome way to remember your loved one and to learn about them in a meaningful way.  

I also got to follow his ashes to his final resting place, and got to see the gravestone where him and his wife were buried.   

None of that would have happened, if things were left to happen on their own.   I wasn't even in the country to lay claim to anything.   

Because the will protected everyone, I got to see everything that he wanted me to see.   His plan happened.  It was his gift.   Wills can be one of the greatest gifts you ever give to someone.   

Conclusion

My wife and I are both completing our wills this week.   We should have done it before now, but we kept making excuses, and it took longer then we planned.  That being said, the process is actually super easy.  

It probably depends on your life situation, and how complicated you want things to be, but we're pretty easy going people, and we know what we're trying to do, and for whom, so so far, it hasn't really been a big deal.   

Most people don't have a complicated life.  Most people can complete a will in about twenty minutes.  All you need is to go online, find an online will service provider and then fill out the information and have it signed in front of two witnesses and a notary public.   

You don't even have to make this your only version.   As things change, change with it, update your will, and keep the thing current.   

I'd also suggest building a legacy box on the side.   You can leave really detailed instructions for anything that the will doesn't cover.   Between those two things, your family can walk in, read it and get everything done.   Make your passing easy.   It's the right thing to do, and your family will thank you forever.   

🤠 How Not Having a Will is Scary and Leads to Civil War

 Day 52:  When There is a Will There is a Way

by Edward Smith

26 Aug 2020

Wills are Unpleasant, but the Alternative is Worse

In this article I want to talk about last wills and testaments.  If you don't have one, you should probably consider getting one.   They're really easy to do.    

I'm not suggesting you're in bad health, or that I expect you to be a goner anytime soon, I just know that death is unavoidable, and I've seen what happens when you have a will in place, and I've seen what happens when you don't.  

If you can choose.   Having a will is way better.   My grandma didn't have a will.  Let me tell you her story.

My Grandmother Did Not Have a Will

My grandmother on my dad's side passed away when I was a teenager.   She was the light of my life.  She would send me packages full of homemade cookies or other baked things.  She wrote to me, and talked to me on the phone.  Even when I messed up things, I was my grandma's good boy.  

I loved my grandma.  When she passed, I lost one of the most important people in my life.   She was a good woman, and she deserved to be remembered that way.   What happened instead was not that.

Petty People Are Full of Noise

My memories of her funeral were not happy ones.  My dad and I got in a car, traveled to his childhood home, and went to a store to pick out black clothes for me to wear.   I don't really remember a lot beyond that, because we spent the rest of the time fending off relatives.   My grandmother didn't leave a will, so things were up for grabs, and people got word about her passing and began flocking in.   

These were people that I knew.  They were my family, but my grandmother's passing sparked a feeding frenzy.   My grandmother's house was seen as a cash grab.   People had turned into looters.  

Since there was no real way to know who should get what, people decided that things were theirs.  They would show up and try to take it by force.

I remember a story about my dad getting angry on the phone, because his brother and wife showed up behind his back and had gone through every book in the house looking for dollar bills pressed into the pages of the books like bookmarks.  My uncle knew my grandma hid money in that way, and he was trying to find what he could to pay off his farm debts.  

What he probably doesn't realize, is his action cost him his nephew.   He's not welcome in my home.  I don't trust him.  He was my uncle before that.  Now he's a filthy looter of my grandma's memory.   

A will could have prevented that.  It would have kept him honest, and it would have kept our relationship intact.   

Desperation Defines the Day

So to be fair.   I get why it all happened.   In the end, I don't blame anyone for their actions.  I'm just disgusted by what I witnessed.   These people had a need, and her stuff was just stuff to them.   They didn't see it as looting.   They saw it as re-purposing.   The problem is that there were no rules in place.

When I think back on it.  It wasn't even really about the stuff.  She wasn't well off.  There was no inheritance to speak of.   She didn't own valuable things, but people didn't know that.     

My grandma was a church volunteer and a woman from the depression.   The church sustained her basic needs, and most of the objects in her house were either memories or had an utilitarian use.   Her rooms were full of tin cans, newspapers, and other things like that.  Things that are usable if you are used to living a frugal life, but trash if you're anyone else.

Treasure Hunters

What irks me, is that nobody knew what to do with any of her personal effects, and that escalated the moment into chaos.  People didn't know if my grandma had anything valuable, or where the valuable things might be hidden, so they ended up tearing apart her house trying to find what they could before someone else did.  It was like a treasure hunt.   Finders keepers.  It turned good people against one another.   It became petty.

I saw people at their worst.  I learned that during funerals, grown up people can stop acting grown up.  They can become base creatures.   Predatory.  That's why you need a will.   You can't always trust people to do the right thing, unless there are rules in place.  Without a will, you'll get anarchy.   

The will tells people what they can and cannot do.   It keeps the affair clean.  It forces people to focus on what matter, and it keeps people from getting distracted by the other things that don't.   

Get a will.  Keep your family safe.    Think of it like protection.   Protect those you love. 

My grandpa had a will.  His will was a gift to us.   It made things way better, and his memory is a happy one.

Read my next article and see how that story went.

🤠 How To Train an Old War Dog

Day 51:  Good Boy!

by Edward Smith

25 Aug 2020

Sending a Military Dog Back to School

If you read my last article entitled 🤠  How Paying The Price Teaches You Value, you would have read how I was able to get myself back into college through hard work and sacrifice.  

I did all of this while I was trying to juggle my military career and full time job.  It wasn't easy, but it was totally worth the price.   In this article I talk about what I did after I got out of the service.  Once you get the college bug, it can make you do crazy things.

I Learned a Lot

After I took classes at the local community college, I got a bug for attending college. I began taking the whole thing really seriously, and my first action upon leaving the service was to attend college full time.  My skin was the in the game now, so the whole thing had become very personal.    

I knew that this was my last chance, and that my behaviors would dictate how it went, so I never stopped working hard after that point. The hard work payed off.  I did well in my classes, and doors began to open up for me.  Those doors eventually led to a great job after I got out of college.  

Awesome for me, but that doesn't mean college is for everyone.  

There is No Universal College 

College is not for everyone.   The military is not for everyone either.   Everyone needs a plan, and that plan needs to have a why.  Without a why, things become really hard, and people can get hurt.  

I didn't have a why when I started out, but I tried to move forward without one.   My parents took a chance on me, and it all backfired.   I almost lost everything.  That's a game you don't want to play.

Luckily for me, I met the right people at the right time, and thanks to those two things lining up, my why suddenly became visible and crystal clear.  It changed everything, and my trajectory was put back on target.   

Trying to skip ahead failed.   For me I had to follow a certain set of steps in a specific order, and those steps were unique to my own situation.  

Conclusion

My steps may not work for you.   You may need to discover your own set of steps.  Don't let other people tell you what those steps should look like.  You are not them.  They are not you.   

Take your time, and figure out what works for you.  You might find that you're different from everyone else, and that you need to do things differently.   That's okay.   You're unique, and your story is unique.  Tell your unique story with pride. 

That's what I did.  When I started out, I crashed and burned.   I was trying to live another person's dream, instead of my own dream.  When it all fell apart, I was left to fend for myself. I had nothing to compare myself to.  My friends had already moved on.    

That didn't stop me though.  I worked through everything and by doing things my way, things worked out great.  

I even got a great education out of it, and this education was valuable.   It was personal.  I had to change who I used to be, and become better and put in the hard work.   That was the price.   Not a bad trade off if you ask me.    

    

 

   

🤠 How Paying The Price Teaches You Value

Day 50:  You Have to Pay To Play 

by Edward Smith

24 Aug 2020

Military Benefits Come With a Cost

If you read my last article entitled 🤠  How To Return to the Scene of a Crime and Resurrect An Old College Flame, you would have read about how joining up with the military was a good decision for me.  It taught me to value things, because I had to fight for them, and prove I could keep them.

You Get to Learn Once You Earn

Earning is a big part of the military.

It includes everything. 

It even includes the government benefits you get promised when you first show up to a recruiting station to sign up.  In the military, there is no free lunch.

Military benefits are real, but you work hard to earn all of them. That teaches you to respect and appreciate what you get.

The Three Year Plan

I didn't earn my first military benefit until after I was at my first duty station. It took me about three years in to get into my first college classroom. Everything before that was training.

When you serve in the military, the military comes first. Always. When I would try to find ways to start school, I would run into restrictions, or someone would have to give me a signed permission slip.

Those permission slips never got signed until I was able to prove that I could handle my job and balance my free time with my job. School and work were seen as conflicting things, and the job couldn't suffer because of side gigs. 

Before I could get permission, I had to acknowledge that I would leave school at any moment at any time. It could be because of normal work, or it could be because of a deployment. I had to be very flexible.  The mission mattered more then me.

Grades were another thing. I had to keep my grades high, or the benefits would disappear.

People checked. Bad grades.  No benefits.   No exceptions.

This simple rule taught me to work hard for my grades.  My future depended on it.  

Going Back to School

During this time I began attending classes at the local community college. I was a rare creature. Many of my fellow soldiers weren't going. 

Through hard work, I finished off my first year of school, and with my previous college credits I was able to get a military associate's degree.  Not too shabby.  Degrees were usually only possessed by officers.   This was a big deal.   I ended up taking a bunch of remedial classes to make it all happen.  I sucked up my pride, and paid the price to become stronger.  

That made the difference.

Want to Know How Things Changed?   Read my Next Article

🤠 How To Return to the Scene of a Crime and Resurrect An Old College Flame

Day 49:  Don't Be a Fugitive 

by Edward Smith

23 Aug 2020

Turn Yourself In, To Something Better

 If you read my last article entitled 🤠  How To Do the Time When You Do the Crime, you'll learn that I ended up trading my civilian life for a military one. It's not for everyone, but for me it was a great trade.  

What you might not have learned from my last article is I got to keep making trades after that point.  Eventually I got to trade my military life for a second chance at attending college.   

That was important, because I was a college drop out.  My life had been heading no where.  I had no plan.  I was a loser.   The military life gave me a new direction.  I became a winner.   It was trans-formative.  It saved me.  

Your story doesn't have to be like mine, but listen to my story anyways.  You might learn something.  It's a good one.

False Premises and the G.I. Bill

I wish I could say I joined the military because I had a strong push and need to serve my country.  Unfortunately, I'd be lying if I said any of that.   

To be honest.  I was still being a short sighted, entitled little brat.   I joined up with the military to take advantage of the G.I. Bill.  I saw the G.I. bill as a free ticket back into college.  I had no idea what the military life was about or what it was actually like.  

Luckily for me, the military is a great and patient teacher.  It straightened me out.   I became a scared nobody, in a strange unforgiving environment.  I wasn't a very good soldier, and the drill instructors knew it, so they were constantly coming after me.  I was an easy target.   To survive I had to learn become better at things quickly.

Nobody cared about my backstory.  I wasn't special.  If I wanted something I had to earn it.   That was true for all things.  Professional or personal.

That realization impacted me.  If I wanted to go back to college I would have to earn it.  People would say no, but I would have to keep going after it until they said yes.  I would have to do whatever it took.  

So that's what I did.  I took my work training seriously.  I started grilling my trainers for extra lessons.  I asked to take on more responsibility, and I worked hard to get better at my job.   I did whatever people needed.  I didn't refuse work, and I didn't tell people no.  Whenever things were calm, I dropped hints about wanting to go back to school.  I did it so often it became irritating.    

After a certain point.  People decided to let me try.   Anything to shut me up.   They gave me a deal, and I took it.   In return, I got back into college.   

      

Want to Know What Happened?   Read My Next Article.

🤠 How To Do the Time When You Do the Crime

 Day 48:  Declaring Martial Law On Yourself 

by Edward Smith

22 Aug 2020

When You're in a Rut, Time for Ten-Hut!

If you read my last article entitled 🤠  How To Earn a College Degree In Personal Pain, you would have learned that I got kicked out of college after high school, and that I had to go to work.   It wasn't fun, and I always regretted it after it happened.  This is what happened.   

Moving Out of My Parents House

The day after my parents found out I was kicked out of college, things changed.   

Before this point my job was to be a full time college student.  My parents didn't want me to get distracted, so I wasn't allowed to get a normal job with a paycheck.  I was supposed to go to school and bring back good grades.  That was it.  Sweet deal right?   

You bet it was, but I was the wrong person for the job.   I wasn't responsible, and this arrangement doesn't teach responsibility.   This job should have gone to a different person that wanted it, and was willing to work for it.  I wasn't that guy.       

When I failed to perform, the family suddenly realized I was unemployed and I wasn't going to be leaving the house anytime soon.   I didn't have a plan.  I didn't have anywhere to go.  I was just taking up space, rent free.   I had become a parasite.

When my parents saw this, it began to irk them to no end.  They had this idea in their head that I would attend four years of college, and then the degree would provide me with an exit key. I would then take that key and use it to move out on my own.   The invested dollars would pay for themselves.  I would be independent, and they would be proud.

 When the college thing fell apart and the plan didn't look very attainable, a new conversation started.   It was unpleasant, but it would end up being an important one.

From Getting the College Boot to Boot Camp

After I was sent home from college, my mom began to worry about me.  She would keep popping up at weird times throughout the day.  She's from Finland, so she can be quite stubborn.   

I couldn't go out with my friends without a confrontation from my mom.   She would ask me how I could go out when I didn't have a job.   She wanted to know how my job search was going.  

She wanted to know when I was going to go back to school, and she would press me for dates and deadlines.  I couldn't avoid her.  I tried, but she would keep popping up.  If that failed she would call me and ask about it over the phone.   It got really annoying.

One day out of anger I became exasperated with the whole situation.  I demanded to know what she wanted out of  me.   She didn't back down.  She told me she wanted me to get a job, and that I needed to move out as soon as possible.  No more safety net.  Cord was cut.  

I asked her how I was supposed to do that.  She told me to figure it out and that I better come up with something quickly.  I was out of time.   She suggested that I if I didn't have a plan, then maybe joining the military might be a good idea.   

I got mad.   I decided to show her.   I told her I would go to the recruiter that very week and sign up.  She agreed it was  good plan.   That's how it happened.  It wasn't planned.  I tried to bluff and she called my bluff.

     

I went to the local recruiter and began discussing my options.  I didn't have a back up plan, and my house wasn't going to remain open to me, so I signed up.  Craziest thing I had ever done up to that point.   It was a desperate act.   I had too much to lose if I didn't, so I manned up and gave it a shot.

Military Life Was My Second Chance  

I didn't have any idea what military life was like when I signed the dotted line.  I hadn't trained for any of it.  I didn't know about the requirements, and I hadn't worked out to become fit.   I was a free loader sitting on a military bus heading to boot camp.  I had no idea what was going to happen, but I couldn't back out.  

Once you sign, it becomes legally binding.  It's a big boy decision.  Once you sign that's it.   Now you have to make it happen.  People come looking for you if you don't show up.  I was beyond scared.  This was serious.  What had I done?   Where was I going?   What would happen to me?    

  

The Military Was a Lucky Break

 

Turns out.   I got lucky.  The military thing worked out really great for me.   I don't recommend it for everyone, because it's not just a job.  It's a complete and total life style change.  You're military when you wake up, and you remain military every day while you're in the service.  It can drive some people crazy.  It didn't make me crazy though.   I got used to it, and after a while I found out it suited me really well.   

In some ways the military can actually be easier, then normal life.   People tell you where to work, what to work on, where to exercise, and where to live.  Everything is taken care of.   It's a good deal.  

There is only one major down side, but it's not a bad one.  In  the military you have to earn what you keep.  Nothing comes for free without a price.   Know the price, pay it, and the trade is worth it.      

Want to Know What I Traded and What I got back?   

Read My Next Article

🤠 How To Earn a College Degree In Personal Pain

 Day 47:   Don't Be a School Fool

by Edward Smith

21 Aug 2020

Make Sure You Know Why Before You Go

Going to college is a dream come true, but that dream can turn into a nightmare without a plan.   I know from personal experience.    It took me two times to make college work.  My first time was expensive, painful, and resulted in me being annihilated and put into a corner.  The other was awesome and helped make me into the person I am today.   

Here is the first story.

Becoming a College Drop Out

I've had a number of good ideas during my lifetime.   

I've also made a ton of really bad mistakes during my life that were major and messed me up for years to come.

Back in 2005, I found myself wanting to go back to college, because I had lived with a terrible mistake.   

In 1996, I graduated high school and I had no idea what I wanted to do.   I had no plan.   So I did what my friends were doing.  I went straight into college.  Problem was, I did it on my parent's dime and I had no idea what I was doing there or why I was doing it.   A recipe for tragedy.

To make matters worse, I also lacked maturity.  I thought the campus was fun, I liked walking around the pretty buildings and seeing the pretty people, but I didn't like schedules, and I began cutting classes to avoid having to wake up early.   

I don't recommend it.  I began failing all of my classes.  I became scared, and I hid the truth from my folks.  I was ashamed.   My parents were oblivious.  They trusted me.  So of course it all came out, and it was awful.   The school sent my parents an eviction notice.  I was removed from campus.  Not a fun day.   

A valuable and expensive life lesson.   Own your mistakes, don't hide them.   This is what happened.

   

A Selfish Man Without a Plan

Being a college drop out, was never my plan.  I had grown up with this idea that I was too smart to fail at anything, so when I failed it was a big eye opener to both me and my folks.  I regretted it every single day.  It was horrendous. The mistake wasn't just about me.  I had messed up the family's plan.  

My dad and mom both were college graduates and were both really big about school.  To have their kid kicked out of college was devastating and humiliating.  It was also really expensive.   They had stepped up to pay for everything, and they hadn't gotten their money's worth.   That happens when you're not careful with your money.

I love my parents.  I get what they were trying to do.   I regret doing what I did, but the fault belonged to both parties.  I was selfish and not dependable.   They were foolish.  They funded someone who wasn't dependable.

Know and Include Your Kids 

We should have talked more.   My parents should have saved their money and waited until they knew that I was worthy of their investment.   Pushing me into school and paying for it before I was ready was a mistake.  

It's like putting a person behind the wheel of a semi truck before that person has successfully passed  truck driving school.  

You might think you're helping the person out, but you're actually endangering them, and someone is going to get hurt.  My parents had good intentions, but they were investing their money in a bad investment.   I had a bad track record.  They should have researched things more before committing their money to anything.      

A Free Ride Creates a Free Loader 

Here is where I become an authority figure.  I believe college kids should pay for their own school out of pocket, and feel things at a personal level.  They should also wait until they know why they want to go.  

It's okay to take time to figure things out.   Until that happens though, everyone save their money.   Don't get a loan.   If you can't pay in cash, don't go.   College is a luxury.   You don't need it.   

If you decide college is for you, you'll have plenty of time.  Go when you're ready.   If you're afraid you're going to become too old, and you're looking for people to date at your own age, college isn't about that.  You can find those same people outside of class.  That's why it's called going out.

If you like college campuses and want to be around college aged people, go work at one.   You might even get a discount on your classes because you're an employee.

However you do it, make sure college is something you really really want.  You have to be willing to sacrifice for it.   You need to be willing to do whatever it takes.  You have to suffer personally.  The struggle is necessary.  It doesn't work any other way.    

Deciding to Go Back

Getting kicked out school was a big problem for my dad.   My dad had a real fear about this issue.    His mom had quit high school and never went back, and his brother had never gone to college.  Both of them struggled financially.  I think that did something to my dad.  

For my dad, school was a way to measure success.   A lack of school meant failure.   I don't agree with that position, but for him it looked that way.  He took it really personally, and it motivated him to leave home and join the military.  

He vowed to never let his family's mistake repeat itself, and he even took things so far, that he got himself a PhD to drive the point home.   

Even though this was his story, and not mine, I still felt like I had let him down at a personal level, so a big part of me wanted to repair the damage I had caused.  I wanted to prove to him I could do it, and make him proud in the process.    That can't be the only reason, but it was important to me.

Being Around Smart Inspires You To Become Smart

In 2005, I was working full time, and I was serious about going back to college.  I knew what my job was like, and I was surrounded by intelligent, smart, college graduates who worked in better jobs.   I heard their stories, and their stories inspired me.  

I wanted a life like they had.   I became obsessed with the idea, and became obsessed with returning back to college.  It changed me in a lot of good ways.  I was now willing to do whatever it took.  I was willing to follow any schedule, wake up whenever I needed to attend class, and put up with any pain along the way.  The thing had become personal.   Perfect time to go back.

Want to Know How I Did That?  Check Out my Next Article.