Day 47: Don't Be a School Fool
by Edward Smith
21 Aug 2020
Make Sure You Know Why Before You Go
Here is the first story.
Becoming a College Drop Out
I've had a number of good ideas during my lifetime.
I've also made a ton of really bad mistakes during my life that were major and messed me up for years to come.
Back in 2005, I found myself wanting to go back to college, because I had lived with a terrible mistake.
In 1996, I graduated high school and I had no idea what I wanted to do. I had no plan. So I did what my friends were doing. I went straight into college. Problem was, I did it on my parent's dime and I had no idea what I was doing there or why I was doing it. A recipe for tragedy.
To make matters worse, I also lacked maturity. I thought the campus was fun, I liked walking around the pretty buildings and seeing the pretty people, but I didn't like schedules, and I began cutting classes to avoid having to wake up early.
I don't recommend it. I began failing all of my classes. I became scared, and I hid the truth from my folks. I was ashamed. My parents were oblivious. They trusted me. So of course it all came out, and it was awful. The school sent my parents an eviction notice. I was removed from campus. Not a fun day.
A valuable and expensive life lesson. Own your mistakes, don't hide them. This is what happened.
A Selfish Man Without a Plan
Being a college drop out, was never my plan. I had grown up with this idea that I was too smart to fail at anything, so when I failed it was a big eye opener to both me and my folks. I regretted it every single day. It was horrendous. The mistake wasn't just about me. I had messed up the family's plan.
My dad and mom both were college graduates and were both really big about school. To have their kid kicked out of college was devastating and humiliating. It was also really expensive. They had stepped up to pay for everything, and they hadn't gotten their money's worth. That happens when you're not careful with your money.
I love my parents. I get what they were trying to do. I regret doing what I did, but the fault belonged to both parties. I was selfish and not dependable. They were foolish. They funded someone who wasn't dependable.
Know and Include Your Kids
We should have talked more. My parents should have saved their money and waited until they knew that I was worthy of their investment. Pushing me into school and paying for it before I was ready was a mistake.
It's like putting a person behind the wheel of a semi truck before that person has successfully passed truck driving school.
You might think you're helping the person out, but you're actually endangering them, and someone is going to get hurt. My parents had good intentions, but they were investing their money in a bad investment. I had a bad track record. They should have researched things more before committing their money to anything.
A Free Ride Creates a Free Loader
Here is where I become an authority figure. I believe college kids should pay for their own school out of pocket, and feel things at a personal level. They should also wait until they know why they want to go.
It's okay to take time to figure things out. Until that happens though, everyone save their money. Don't get a loan. If you can't pay in cash, don't go. College is a luxury. You don't need it.
If you decide college is for you, you'll have plenty of time. Go when you're ready. If you're afraid you're going to become too old, and you're looking for people to date at your own age, college isn't about that. You can find those same people outside of class. That's why it's called going out.
If you like college campuses and want to be around college aged people, go work at one. You might even get a discount on your classes because you're an employee.
However you do it, make sure college is something you really really want. You have to be willing to sacrifice for it. You need to be willing to do whatever it takes. You have to suffer personally. The struggle is necessary. It doesn't work any other way.
Deciding to Go Back
Getting kicked out school was a big problem for my dad. My dad had a real fear about this issue. His mom had quit high school and never went back, and his brother had never gone to college. Both of them struggled financially. I think that did something to my dad.
For my dad, school was a way to measure success. A lack of school meant failure. I don't agree with that position, but for him it looked that way. He took it really personally, and it motivated him to leave home and join the military.
He vowed to never let his family's mistake repeat itself, and he even took things so far, that he got himself a PhD to drive the point home.
Even though this was his story, and not mine, I still felt like I had let him down at a personal level, so a big part of me wanted to repair the damage I had caused. I wanted to prove to him I could do it, and make him proud in the process. That can't be the only reason, but it was important to me.
Being Around Smart Inspires You To Become Smart
In 2005, I was working full time, and I was serious about going back to college. I knew what my job was like, and I was surrounded by intelligent, smart, college graduates who worked in better jobs. I heard their stories, and their stories inspired me.
I wanted a life like they had. I became obsessed with the idea, and became obsessed with returning back to college. It changed me in a lot of good ways. I was now willing to do whatever it took. I was willing to follow any schedule, wake up whenever I needed to attend class, and put up with any pain along the way. The thing had become personal. Perfect time to go back.
Want to Know How I Did That? Check Out my Next Article.
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